My friend, the hero.

by Elizabeth on May 10, 2013

I remember a lot of things about being in inpatient treatment very clearly. I remember exactly how it looked- the pictures on the walls, the way the light would shine through the windows in the afternoons, the meal plan sheets we filled out. I remember the way it smelled- the smell of the buildings, the food, and the way Denver smells outside in July and August. I remember how it felt- the pain of being away from family, the anxiety of trying new things, and the hope and anticipation I had about becoming a mom soon.

I remember the people. There were some AMAZING people there. Something I regret is never getting extremely close to people while I was there, but I’m going to cut myself and others some slack since being hospitalized for an eating disorder probably isn’t the best time in one’s life. I also remember in mid-August watching all the moms go through something. It was the start of the new school year, and they wouldn’t be there to send off their kids on the first day. Just thinking about going through that makes me want to cry. What a gift it is to have that memory with your child, and I vowed it was one I wouldn’t miss out on.

I reconnected this week with one of my friends from PHP. She is doing amazing, and I couldn’t be happier for her! She shared her story with me and I want to pass it on to you. I think being a mom and struggling with an eating disorder adds a whole additional layer to work through, so I hope some of you can find hope in her story.

Mother Me- by Kristy Butler

Some scenes from yesterday! I can’t wait to walk this little guy to school on his first day… many years from now of course ;-)

A neighbor (who clearly reads the blog and knows about my addictive sugar tendencies) brought me this as a get well present. Toffee is one of my favorite things in the world. I’m excited for when my stomach stops hating me and I can enjoy it.

Dinner was pasta with pesto! Simple but the best meal I’ve had in two days.

And the winner of the VFuel Giveaway is:

#77. Christina D.!!!

I follow you @stina092 :)

Email me at [email protected] and I can get those mailed out to you!!!

Have a great Friday! We are having a date night tonight, I’m excited!!!


1. Tell me about a friend you really admire!

2. How often do you do date nights? What are your favorite things to do?

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sarah @PickyRunner May 10, 2013 at 6:01 am

WOw that story is incredible. I can’t imagine going through that especially without forming a lot of close relationships to help get you through. I’m glad both you and your friend are doing well. It’s definitely not something that’s easy to recover from- I never went to inpatient despite being threatened a number of times but I do remember how difficult it was to “just eat” or “just get better” and it does bring back a lot of emotions. On a happier note, that pasta looks absolutely delicious! I need to make myself some of that this week…
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2 Andrea R. @ Morning Runner Girl May 10, 2013 at 6:25 am

I admire my best friend Anna! I can honestly say that she has been thrown every single curve ball that life has, and she survives and braves through it. I don’t know how. She is stronger than any girl/guy I have ever seen at a gym or on tv. Her inner strength is something that NO one can match. She inspires me everyday!!

Well, my date nights are with girlfriends ((unless you want to set me up with someone which I am absolutely ok with!!)) but we do at home things since we have no money! chips, salsa, golden oreos, tv in the background, and talk talk talk! simple, yet never boring. In the summer we take it outside to a bonfire pit and DUH S’MORES!!!!!
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3 Emma @ a mom runs this town May 10, 2013 at 6:29 am

Can’t wait to check her out. Thanks for sharing! I admire all my friends! That’s why I’m friends with them- they keep putting up with me!


4 Michele May 10, 2013 at 6:32 am

Thank you for sharing that story – what a powerful message!
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5 Lisa @ Live and Be Awesome May 10, 2013 at 6:37 am

That’s a very powerful story, and I’m so glad she was able to get the help she needed.
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6 Lindsey @ OneMotherofaDay May 10, 2013 at 7:58 am

I will definitely check out her story. Thank you for being so honest and candid with your experiences.
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7 StephAnie May 10, 2013 at 8:39 am

Wow! What an incredible story!! Thanks for sharing. And so glad you’re feeling better!
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8 Danielle May 10, 2013 at 8:48 am

miss you girl! <3 i remember things vividly still from Denver as well.. feels like i can grab it sometimes. its weird, but definitely something i would never want to forget. i actually remember your first day at IP. i dont remember everyones first day, but yours i did. sometimes i wish i can go back in time and replay a few days there, not to be sick again, but to be with everyone again. when your there all you want to do is get out of treatment and you dont really realize and appreciate the time your there, who your with and dont take time to soak it all in. i mean, i spent a lot of time there but always "wanting to leave." i miss everyone so much, definitely the most truest and best of friends i have met in treatment than anywhere else, even some staff. this sunday is my 1 year recovery. time flew. i havent had a one year full recovery in my life ever, out of the 11 years i been struggling. i think the most i ever had TRULY was like 5-6 months. now i hit 1 year. not a lot of people thought i could do it when i left ERC, or they thought i could but not at that time. well, i proved them all wrong. i went with my gut. i just knew. there was something inside of me that felt different and didnt care what anyone thought and told them i would prove them wrong. Hannah, my therapist, told me that my goal when i left was to come back for the reunion (last year) in July and her goal was to be pregnant. i told her that is a deal. her, dr. weiner, my dietitian, everyone on my team disagreed with my choice to leave but i did. i left and from day 1, which was may 12th 2012, i started recovery. i did everything different than i ever had before when i discharged home. and you know what happened in july? i made it to the reunion. i surprised Hannah the day before and she opened her door to me and stared at me and hugged me and cried. she told me i made her dream come true. which means the world to me because i didnt just work with her at ERC, i actually had from 2008-2011 when i was at Remuda Ranch for 4 times in between those years. so i knew her for 5 years, she is like a sister, best friend, inspiration, therapist, everything to me. she knows more about me than my parents. i spent more time with her than my family in the past years. anyway, she also told me that she was pregnant. so we both achieved our goals! it was definitely the best thing that happened all year. at the reunion all the therapists and doctors and dietitians and peers were all so happy and proud of me and couldnt believe i proved them wrong. i mean, i always had doubts the past 11 years i struggled, doctors telling me i would die, but like i said, it was something about this time that i felt something different deep within my heart. sometimes even to this day i cant believe it. i know its been a year but its just so weird. but so weird in an awesomely freedom way. the rest of that summer i enjoyed and went back to school finally in september, got recruited as a hollister model and enjoyed the rest of last year. this year i am continuing the same, just living life freely and being grateful everyday. not one day goes by that i dont think of ERC or the girls or any memory from there. i always do. its a part of me forever. i have never had such awesome people and treatment in my life. i now work full time at starbucks and planning trips for the summer and looking to move to denver next year 2014 in january. go back to where my life started. i hope your doing well. if you ever need help or support just text or email me or anything. im always here. dont be afraid to ask! i miss and love ya girl! <3 stay strong


9 Elizabeth May 10, 2013 at 11:08 am

Thanks so much for sharing this with me Danielle! I think you’re right, there does come a point where something just clicks and you feel different. I’m so happy for you and Hannah!!! Both beautiful people who worked hard and met their goals. I miss you too! Thanks for the update. And the same goes for you, feel free to call/text/email whenever!


10 Jojo May 10, 2013 at 9:00 am

I admire my friend Bryne. She’s a really great artist!

My date nights are usually making dinner and watching on movie at home :) Nice and casual.
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11 Carly @ Snack Therapy May 10, 2013 at 10:23 am

I have a few girlfriends who have been through so much: family problems, horrible relationships, and just general bad luck. But, they remain hilarious and awesome and kind! I’m sure I’d be a raging bee-otch if I’d been through half of what they have, but I guess we’re all more resilient than we think!
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12 Charlotte @ Commitness to Fitness May 10, 2013 at 10:59 am

what an amazing story! you two are so lucky to have each others friendships :) not to sound corny but i admire all my friends. as ive gotten older, my number of friends has decreased while the caliber of friend has increased. im literally in awe of every one of good friends.
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13 Rachel @ Undercover Diva: A Sitcom May 10, 2013 at 12:02 pm

Thank you for sharing that story! It was beautiful. I have a friend who has Brittle Bone Disease and she has been in and out of hospital for the majority of her life, yet I have hardly ever heard her complain. Sometimes the pain gets tough and she just keeps on going. When my heart was broken earlier this year, she was more concerned about me than she was herself…and she had just been readmitted to the hospital for the 5th time in 3 months. She has gone through so much in just the short time that I’ve known her and I am blown away by it! She’s wheelchair bound and has had to relearn how to walk multiple times in her life. They just got her a van that she can drive using her hands (handbrakes too) and I couldn’t be more excited for her!

Enjoy your date night! I hope you’re feeling better :D


14 Debbie @ Deb Runs... May 10, 2013 at 7:29 pm

I admire my running friend so much! She is so positive about everything and never says anything bad about anyone. She just so incredibly kind and supportive, and is always there for me and all of her friends! I strive to be like her!

I love the picture of Noah by the pool edge! So cute!
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15 kendra @ May 10, 2013 at 8:13 pm

i think i admire all my friends in different ways. they all have qualities i want to improve on. that’s what makes them great friends.

my mother in law just offered to babysit tonight for a date night. but my hubby is taking his last final until 9pm. she didn’t know when his test would be over. bummer. we usually get out about 1-2 times per month sans kids. and i cherish those precious hours alone:)
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16 [email protected] May 12, 2013 at 12:04 am

What an amazing tribute to someone who is fighting a huge battle! I am so thankful for the honesty of your posts.
I admire my friend, Cindy, who has three children with needs ~ one (teen) has juvenile diabetes, another has ADHD, and the third is autistic. She is a rock. Her husband is a rock. The two of them are suffering, celebrating, homeschooling, praying, disciplining, learning, coping, and striving to help others in the process. There are no better role models out there for me. As a matter of fact… I haven’t told them this lately! I am about to copy and paste this in a FB message!
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17 Runner Girl Eats May 12, 2013 at 5:00 am

We don’t do regular date nights but every Friday we make a nice dinner and watch a movie with some wine and dessert. It’s our little way of unwinding from the week and kicking off the weekend on the right foot :)
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